rich
adjective
1
: having abundant possessions and especially material wealth
2
a
: having high value or quality
b
: well supplied or endowed
a city rich in traditions
rich
adjective
UK
/rɪtʃ/ US
/rɪtʃ/
rich adjective (MONEY)
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A2
having a lot of money or valuablepossessions:
He’s the third richest man in the country.
They’re one of the world’s richest nations.
He is determined to get rich quickly.
Synonym
Opposite
- “Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.” – Epictetus
- “If we command our wealth, we shall be rich and free; if our wealth commands us, we are poor indeed.” – Edmund Burke
Being seen as wealthy has a varying definition according to what culture you are living in, social status, money in the bank, assets, disposable income, inheritance, status in a workplace, et cetera. The list goes on and of course there’s the philosophical and sociological definitions of being wealthy and having richness in terms of emotional, psychological, maybe even the people that surround you.
However, this post is specific to where I was when I defined myself as having riches. This post isn’t meant to be an ideological debate or how I define/d success. This is a reference to the financial contrast to where I find myself now.
Holidays for me were plentiful . It hadn’t always been that way, I used to backpack around the world enjoying hostels and picking up work where I could, using public transport to get around. However, when I met and married my husband, he had a fantastic job. This allowed us to take holidays in some amazing places, Little things like going to a petrol station and filling up my car, not worrying about whether my card would be declined, seeing something in a shop I like and buying it. Staying in nice hotels, renting cars when needed, paying bills on time, eating in nice restaurants, and when the children came along, affording nannies and childcare, as well as help around the home. No pressure on me to work, regular hair appointments, manicures, etc. there are deeper questions now like was I really happy? Were friends around me genuine? Was I a good person? No. Was I a good mother? No. Did I have a sense of entitlement? Yes. I only have the benefit of looking at those things, respectively. At the time I was ignorant.
This was the world that I had become part of and what I had become used to. The security of a nice house, financial security, the stresses that I had at that time pale into insignificance. If I had the opportunity to go back and shake myself by the shoulders and slap myself around the face, I would take it.
My ex-husband still has all of those things. The house, more money, more toys, more holidays. His success continues to grow. Whereas I’m at the other end, I had to battle to get into rental houses, open my own bank account, learn how to bank, Completely ignorant of things like interest rates, taxes, even the cost of things. No credit history, no awareness of life as a single mother. But this blog isn’t about recriminations and bitterness I’ve since had to overcome. The unfairness, the hurt, etc. it’s about rediscovering who I am. Where I find myself now, how different things are, and where I find meaning.
Obviously, my story has many depths and complex issues. I’ll touch on those overtime as necessary, to provide context.
Possibly, the hardest thing about finding myself as a single mother with nothing and starting out at an age where most people are settling down, are ‘false starts.’ A false start for me was when I secured a rental, it was cold and breezy, the kids didn’t like staying with me because the place was old, I had minimal furniture and could only buy things as I was able. I had no credit and no awareness of various by now pay latest schemes. I had an old car, and it was a real contrast to what the kids were used to. However, for me this was my reality. Although here in New Zealand, we do have a social welfare system, I wasn’t familiar with it or how to utilise it. Instead I did like a lot of people would, I went out and found myself a full-time job. I “got on with it“ just to be clear, following the breakdown of my marriage; I had a huge mental breakdown, I became incredibly unwell mentally and physically. So I took some time, but it wasn’t time to reflect, or work through my feelings, it was time to be strongly medicated, and basically lose all my faculties for a period of time. Hence why I refer to the “.false start“ I consider at that time I had become ‘functioning.’ I deferred to my ex-husband for all decisions relating to the children , and I still idolised him and defined myself by his narrative. And I think that’s been key for me, because for so long I didn’t have an identity and the limitations, mistakes I made, any reactions to things were like a script, and if I went off script, my ex-husband was there to put me back in the play. I never questioned any of that. But again, that’s a different story.
I guess once I had secured the rental, secured the full-time job, I was on my way to becoming successful. Not rich obviously, but by the expectations imposed on me by society, my family, my children, and I suppose the government and my own definitions, I was working and earning with a roof over my head. The questions about the financial disparity at the end of my marriage were left. The emotional and mental considerations, were left. I believed I was achieving what I was supposed to be achieving. And still, food banks, charity, still hadn’t played a role in my life.
Riches to Rags 
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